ONE HELL OF A RIDE

Hello again. It's been a few days since I have had a chance to sit down and convey some more of my enchanting thoughts, and delightful adventures. So now that I am back in my truck and sitting in the passenger seat, next to my co-driver Stephen, I have found a little time to do some bloggins. The title to this blog says a lot about the state of this past week, it HAS been one hell of a ride. Starting Monday in Newark, NJ. The night before this I talked to my first crack whore, literally, she asked if we wanted some pussy. When we said no, she asked if she could have 5 bucks for Mcdonalds. This was 5 minutes after a man told us we could park on the street and no one would bother us. Fucking Hilarious. Monday was a good day for two reasons. One being I made it the fuck out of Newark, NJ. Two being I made it home. What a relief that was. Tuesday didn't consist of much action at all really, just enjoying the company of my friends, and our mutual friend; booze. Wednesday was on a level all on its own. Wednesday April 15, 2009 was the day I rode my first roller coaster. I know, your asking yourself how could I be 22 years old and have never been on a roller coaster. Well, when growing up in a small town in a somewhat impoverished family, its a little hard to get out as much as you would like. Especially when you have parents that are content with being miserable. But I digress. The anticipation, and anxiety that i was feeling before making my first trip was palpable. The Griffin is a monstrosity, nothing in my life could have prepared me for the thrill that I was about to experience. Needless to say my first time on a roller coaster was something I am never going to forget. How could I, I was screaming like a 12 year old girl at jonas brothers concert. Although now that I think about it Brandon was more excited then i was. For five minutes after the ride I was in complete shock. And then there was this gnawing at my insides. Not from the inertia but from the need for more. And so I fed this hunger, with the help of my friends Brandon and Ivy. Within 2 hours we hit every major ride at the Busch Gardens theme park. Everyone but Apollos Chariot, it was closed for maintenance. By the end of the night I was an entirely new person. Beyond the trip to Busch Gardens and back not much else happened on wednesday night. Except Pee Wees Big Top, but that doesn't need any explanation. And then came Thursday. A slow day at first. Our initial plan was to go to the D.C. Zoo. But as a group we tend to procrastinate on a grand scale. So we ended up lounging around till about 7 P.M., than I went to the driving range. I commenced to play to rounds and get completely trashed. An all around good time. The rest of the night was somewhat of a blur. But the main thing I remember of that night was how I ended up naked with Brandon and Taylor with plastic bags over our heads. How it got to this point is still a mystery to me. Im sure our buddy Jordan was thinking the same thing when he woke up with all three of us in his room dancing beside his bed. After all of this I ended up leaving Virginia around 4:30 A.M. The sad part is I did not end up sleeping till early saturday morning. Now that its sunday i have caught up with my sleep and I am ready to drive. All this is just another small part of the continuous adventure that is my life. I just hope that i can always have the fingers and hands to write about it all. But then again I could end up losing a bet in some third world country where the wager is my hands. End.  

HOME

There is nothing better than knowing I am home. That I have a home. And that i have friends to share it with. It will make my months on the road worth it. I am forever grateful. End.

Crazy Freds Whorehouse Truckstop

Today while driving east on 40 through Arizona, I came across a grand piece of americana. This fantastic view of the past is located about 5 miles out of Kingman, in the outskirts of the desert mountains. Oddly enough my Co-Driver knew all about this place, and decided we should stop and "look around".  So there I was, pulling into a relatively small truck stop just off of exit 44, not far from the legendary route 66, and this is when i realize that this is no ordinary choke and puke, but an American landmark. Sure its old, small and rundown from years of abuse, but you can feel the energy that was once there emanating off the buildings. The title to this joint is Crazy Fred Whorehouse Truckstop. And directly behind it, not 50 feet away, is a wonderful little tavern called The Dollhouse A Big Rig Gentlemen's Club(sadly not open this late in the morning). Which resembles a barn, or more so the old western taverns. My first reaction to all of this was to not get out of the truck cause the air could be rank with AIDS. But after thinking about it I decided i should not miss such an opportunity to learn more about the history of truck driving. The sign for Crazy Fred's does not actually say whorehouse, I had to meander inside and browse the gift shop to find out the true name. The reason I am so interested in such a place comes from knowing how truck driving as a lifestyle once was. Truck drivers years before my time were all mavericks and renegades roaming the country always in search of "a better time". These were the kind of truckers taking hills at a 120, not sleeping for days at a time, all the while keeping tabs on several different love affairs across the states. They were kings of their territory and could not be slowed down for an instant. And the only actor who could ever pull such a role off is Burt Reynolds. But as the years progressed the federal, and local governments slowly started playing around in the business. Speeds on highways were reduced, trucks were governed, roads were restricted, laws were set in motion to make sure that drivers get the proper rest and aren't causing ruckus(this is where the logbooks were implemented). Local communities started shutting down the truck stops that were deemed religiously, politically, and lawfully inappropriate.  Even the truck stop whores(lot lizards) are few and far between. My point being there is no fun in truck driving anymore. Sure there is a good amount to see around the United States, but what professional driver has the time or money these days to stop and see the sights. Granted I am new to all of this, but the message is coming across just the same. Senior drivers I have had the the pleasure(or displeasure) of meeting all have the same view. Its not a lifestyle anymore its just a job. I still love the road, but I am disappointed knowing its not what it once was. Truck driving was the American Dream, the meaning of freedom, it was full of comic book characters and true entertainers, it was filthy, raunchy, politically incorrect, and most of all a formidable career. Present day trucking is just another employee handbook to read an memorize. So in conclusion, I salute you Crazy Fred for keeping the past alive, and living the American Dream, with cheeseburgers, strippers, and diesel fuel. end.

Music.

If you find yourself in a bind, and cant seem to find anything on your ipod, or in your cd case, here are a few groups i recommend you wrap your ears around:

Tycho 

Flying Lotus 

Black Moth Super Rainbow

Bonobo 

Wolf Parade

!!!(chk chk chk)

These are bands that I thoroughly enjoy at the moment. So get with the program. And quit listening to shitty music. :-) end.

one more thought

I have decided that I am not going to accessorize this blog. I see no reason for it. I may add pictures here and there but this is isn't a myspace page. I chose to start this for the aspect of writing, the only aesthetic value that this blog will have is that of words. PIMP MY BLOG. end.

Movies That Make Me Commit Manslaughter

The first on my list of shoddy filmmaking is a movie I recently waisted 90 minutes of my precious time on aptly named Babylon A.D. (the acronym meaning AINT DICK). The movie is based on a book called Babylon Babies written by a french author Maurice Georges Dantec. I have yet to read the book but the reviews were not panned by critics. One review stated:

("Riddled with acronyms and pop culture allusions, this is an intense, intellectually labyrinthine ride."
— Publishers Weekly.)

The movie adaptation on the other hand was panned. The overall review being:

"A poorly constructed, derivative sci-fi stinker with a weak script and poor action sequences."

 I could not say it any better than that. And I would rather not delve into the subject of Vin Diesel thats a tragedy all on its own.(*cough washed up cough*) I am a big fan of sci-fi genre and anything there of. But the problem with most sci-fi is that its not well thought out and the compassion for it just seems drained. I am waiting patiently for the day when i can be content with the sci-fi genre. But until that day I am just going to have to put up with such BUNK as Babylon A.D. and A.V.P. Until that day I am going to bitch and gripe about every movie that makes me feel like i should be living in a cabin deep in the alaskan forest, with nothing but a lamp, and a copy of a hitch hikers guide to the galaxy. I hope the future is not so bleak. End.

The wonders of East L.A.

Now that my introduction to this catastrophe is complete i suppose its time to start "blogging".  Currently I am sitting at the far end of an extra large truck stop parking lot, in a suburb of L.A., called Ontario. So far today has progressed rather well, considering I am actually writing. Although this morning was not very pleasant, being woken up at 5 am to my co-driver telling me to move the bottom bunk.(incase you didnt know trucks have bunks called sleeper berths, and as a safety precaution while the truck is in motion you cant be in the top bunk) Having to move at all at the time of the morning is a challenging feat for me. But having to climb down out of the bunk just seemed impossible. It took a while but I finally managed to achieve the task. By the time I laid down in the bottom bunk my Co-driver Stephen was asking me for directions. At this point I knew it was hopeless to even attempt sleeping. And So I've been up ever since. Our Unload this morning was a nightmare, directly in the middle of East L.A., if any of you are familiar with the movie born in East L.A. you know what I am talking about. Dirty, Cramped, Crowded and very mexican. Not that I have anything against Mexican and Latinos alike, its just there is a very large language gap. Its extremely hard to communicate directions and important information. And damn it if the only Spanish I know is very inappropriate for that kind of communicating. I cant just walk up to the guy and say "Como Esta Punta". It would most likely make the conversation even harder.Although I will give them one thing, they can make some magical Mcdonalds. Brandon knows what i mean. j/k. (take no offense to any of this). Needless to say we managed to back in, a terribly hard maneuver, and get unloaded. Once unloaded we headed to this T/A truck stop. And here I sit. Waiting. Our next load picks up tonight at 1 am and brings us across the country to New Jersey. So close to home. If all goes well I will be home in Virginia Tuesday. What a blessing that will be. But sadly this will be the last time for awhile. I wont be venturing home in May because my little brother is graduating high school. And this is a big event in my immediate family. Out of the three brothers he will be the only one to graduate from formal high school, and attend college. The little prick. I love him more for it. I do hope i can make it. Plus it would be nice to see the town I grew up in again. The land of the Yoopers. The trademark mark name for those who live in the Upper Peninsula, and parts of Northern Wisconsin. After this event I will have the chance to go home the following month. So bare with me Virginia we will be seeing each other again on occasion. I plan on being on the road for at least a year. This will be difficult, but beneficial to me and my future. I just want everyone to know that I love you and miss the piss out of all of you. I want everyone to keep in contact with me while I am out here, it gets lonelier than hell for someone like me on the road. Granted I am in a hell of a good position for it, no real possessions and no relationships. But I myself do need some love from time to time. So girls don't be afraid to talk dirty to me. End. 

This is the start to something horrible...

Well, here it is, my first blog. I never imagined myself as a blogger but unforeseen boredom has forced me to start one. The original idea behind this blog was first presented to me from my lovely friend Ivy. So I decided now was the time to take her advice into account. She is a clever little rascal. Also in conjunction with this blog I have absolutely no idea what the hell I am doing. I always wanted to become a writer of sorts but my compassion for it faded over time(and gallons of booze). But i figure since I have all the time in the world in my current position, i may as well let everyone know how I am doing. So henceforth this will be MY blogspot and i will update it from time to time when circumstances permit me to do so. I do hope that you enjoy the tidbits of information about my life that will pass through this virtual highway and be picked up by your visual synapse. End.